Cross Blogging

I have been too lazy to update this blog page. But who cares anyway? I started this blog page to write anonymoulsy then I discuvered Multiply. It all went downhill from there. I love Multiply and the wonderful online shopping experience it brings! In any case, I have some blogs in Multiply. Rtuason.multiply.com. I'm trying to look into the possibilites of cross-blogging.

Purgatorio

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Weddings

I attended my cousin's wedding early this week. I don't know whether it's due to the fact that I am really getting old but I think I have greater appreciation for weddings and marriages and the work both entail to make it successful.

This must be the second time I cried at weddings. It must be part envy, part awe. I mean, I am terrified of commitments! Gosh, I couldn't even sign my employment contract, let alone a marriage contract!

When I was younger, I loved attending weddings because everyone is so pretty and the flowers are so nice. Weddings were always an excuse to dress to the nines, put on nice make up and escape the usual.

But now... Now weddings mean much much more. I mean, it must take great courage to really be sure enough to commit FOR LIFE to be with someone, through rich and poor, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part. I can't even stand myself when I am sick (I have been for the past week), let alone expect someone to be there for me!

Where I stand now, marriage is the stuff of rainbows and fantasies. I have marvelous examples around me to prove that marriage works - my parents have a great one. But for now, I cannot see myself being with someone for life.

And so I will just continue to be envious and amazed at people brave enough to walk down that aisle. The certainty they felt while making that choice is a certainty I can only dream of.

Arouch!

---NOTE--- This happened yesterday on my way home

I was happy as a bee drenched in honey since my officemate dropped me off to where I parked my car and I didn't have to take the one jeepney ride I usually take to get to my parking spot. I must've walked that path a hundred times but earlier, I lost my footing, slipped, tripped, twisted my ankle and fell on all fours. Oooohh the pain. Plain, pure agony. Never mind the humiliation. I was really in pain.

And yet my practical mind kicked into high gear, "Will I be able to drive?"

It took me some time to get up (it was THAT painful) and this vendor by the corner where I slipped commented to her companion, "Nalaglag ba siya? Masakit kaya?"

Ah.... Yes! Unless I prostrate myself flat on the floor, I can't get any lower than this. Count the seconds from the time I fell down. Do you think I may actually be enjoying my stay down here? Why don't YOU try it on for size?

And then..

Please? Help me get up.

That was the worst yet. No one picked me up! And to think I literally crossed paths with another person on her way out! Gee thanks for the love, neighbor.

But immediately after that, I started to giggle to myself. It was a pathetic situation I was in. So with supreme effort, I picked myself up. And I pathetically limped towards my car and drove home.

And now that I am safely home, I checked out the damage.

Scratched white leather handbag. CHECK
Bloody left big toe. CHECK
Bloody chipped nail. CHECK
A bump on my left shin. CHECK
Bruised right shin. CHECK
Painfully swollen right ankle. CHECK

Well, at least I still have my sense of humor with me and was able to laugh about it over dinner with my family.

And as I literally had to brush myself off, all I can say is AROUCH!

A True Confession

---Note--- I posted this in another site last year

I went to confession a few hours ago. There is really something about religion that offers a soothing balm to the soul. I have been in a quandary (of my own making) for quite some time now. I am not the most pleasant person to have religious debates with especially when I am in one of my questioning moods. I am a logical person and I have the tendency to rationalize everything. And religion, any religion by nature is surrounded by mystery.

And mystery is something that is good for the soul, as my confessor told me earlier. I found myself voicing an incredulous, "Really?" Being surrounded by mystery makes us cling to our God more since we are supposed to seek answers to the questions we ask, answered the wise priest.

And did I have a lot of questions to ask. Why does God seem to bless others more? Why is another person's prayer answered quicker than mine? Why is it that my petitions have gone unanswered for years now? These questions still beg to be answered. Yet somehow, after my discussion (my confession turned into a consultation) with the priest, I felt peace in my heart. And now, though I ask the same questions, I ask them with more faith than doubt. I ask them because I desire to know God and not to question His wisdom.

Many might be surprised by the sudden shift in views I show. But then perhaps this is one of the mysteries religion has to offer. Questions may be left unanswered but peace still manages to reign. I guess this is what religion is really about. Peace in the midst of chaos. Satisfaction in the face of want. Serenity despite the doubts.

I wish that many will go to confession and realize that confession is not merely to relieve yourself from the burden of sin. Rather, it is an opportunity to speak clearly to God and hear His reply through His modern day apostle. Religion is a refreshing spring to quench the thirst of tired souls.

Lost and Found

I almost lost my laptop today. I swear, I felt my heart freeze then restart rapidly, my body temperature shot up and I felt myself start to sweat... It was a godawful second when I realized that I left my laptop at the event site.

Let me backtrack a little.

Had an event at Discovery Suites and it went well. I was with my officemates and we were exchanging light hearted banter as we walked to my car when I realized I...DID...NOT...HAVE...MY LAPTOP BAG WITH ME!!!!!!!

A million thoughts crossed my mind that moment, does my warrenty cover UNIT REPLACEMENT? What will I do? How will I work? It isn't even officially mine yet! Waah!

To cut the long story short, I got it back. No dramatic searching transpired. Just a lot of endless minutes as I cruised around the block, waiting if Mang Sam will return holding my laptop bag.

After cruising the block around 3 times, I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when he handed the bag to me. As I told my officemates, "Para akong nabunutan ng espada"

And now, I just want to curl in my bed and sleep.

Life is for the Living

It's amazing to be able to watch TV shows and cry at appropriate moments simply because the scene tugged at my heartstrings and NOT because it triggered memories of heartbreak.

I love this feeling. I truly love it but at the same time, I am feeling a bit displaced. I feel a bit out of sorts with myself. Because now, without past heartaches (romantic and otherwise) casting shadows over every emotional scene I come across, I suddenly realized I don't know what to do with myself.

It's a weird feeling watching something and crying over it because now, when I cry it is because I am imagining what it is like being in that situation, rather than reliving past heartaches.

I have covered myself with layers and layers of protective walls because I did not want anything to touch me because I have already been through so much heartache. I felt the need to shield myself and not allow myself to get too close to anyone because I am terrified of losing them and getting hurt.

And now, I realize that I must peel off of my protective layers because now that I have healed from past heartaches, I realize that the next step to healing is to get reacquainted with people and accept the fact that everytime I give a part of myself to others, I am also making myself vulnerable. But life is for the living. And hurting is part of living.

So although my thinking may sound convoluted, I do really love this feeling of simply... feeling.

The Donut in Me

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?