Weddings

I attended my cousin's wedding early this week. I don't know whether it's due to the fact that I am really getting old but I think I have greater appreciation for weddings and marriages and the work both entail to make it successful.

This must be the second time I cried at weddings. It must be part envy, part awe. I mean, I am terrified of commitments! Gosh, I couldn't even sign my employment contract, let alone a marriage contract!

When I was younger, I loved attending weddings because everyone is so pretty and the flowers are so nice. Weddings were always an excuse to dress to the nines, put on nice make up and escape the usual.

But now... Now weddings mean much much more. I mean, it must take great courage to really be sure enough to commit FOR LIFE to be with someone, through rich and poor, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part. I can't even stand myself when I am sick (I have been for the past week), let alone expect someone to be there for me!

Where I stand now, marriage is the stuff of rainbows and fantasies. I have marvelous examples around me to prove that marriage works - my parents have a great one. But for now, I cannot see myself being with someone for life.

And so I will just continue to be envious and amazed at people brave enough to walk down that aisle. The certainty they felt while making that choice is a certainty I can only dream of.